The Art of Juggling

Wikipedia defines juggling as "the art of tossing and catching or manipulating objects, keeping them in constant motion." I think I am becoming a master juggler. I wear many different hats and have many roles. I am a full time working mother of three, wife, daughter, granddaughter, friend, coworker, employee, supervisor, volunteer, wife, sister and much more. With all of these roles it sometimes feels like I am "tossing and catching or manipulating" the details of all of these relationships, so I can fulfill each one. The thing is, there are too many to keep up in the air sometimes. My crazy life is in "constant motion" and I feel like a circus performer.

I used to beat myself up if I "dropped the ball" with something. I felt like a personal failure and was disappointed that I let myself and others down. However, the more I juggle, the more I realize that I am only human. I am not an amazing circus performer that can keep all these things up in the air. Some of them will fall. The question then becomes how does your audience react? 

Circus performers try to wow their audiences. I realized that much of the time I am doing the same thing. I recognized that a lot of the things I was juggling were for other people and not for myself. In order to not juggle so much I need to ask myself which audience do I want to please the most, why am I trying to please them and will they still be a part of the show if my performance is not so flawless? These are tough questions. As I began to answer these questions my load becomes a little lighter and more enjoyable to juggle.  I realize which relationships I want to go the extra mile for and which only want what they can get out of the show. Is my life still crazy? You betcha! I did say I have three children. At the same time it's so much more enjoyable when I decide to spend time with them instead of doing something I "should" do because it's the "right thing."

This can be a little disheartening at first as old relationships may begin to disappear. People do not like the word no and they do not like boundaries. I think it's because we get jealous when people can say no without the guilt while we keep saying yes. Eventually, "no" becomes liberating because it is less to juggle and less pressure to please an audience that really didn't care about you in the first place.

If you are juggling a lot like me, take an inventory of what you are juggling and your audience. What are your motives for all of that juggling? Are you trying to please or impress people that don't have your best interest in mind? Are your trying to keep relationships that you might be better off dropping? As you begin to answer these questions, you may get upset because your performance has changed but hang in there; the less you have to juggle, the better and happier juggler you will be.