The Art of Juggling

Wikipedia defines juggling as "the art of tossing and catching or manipulating objects, keeping them in constant motion." I think I am becoming a master juggler. I wear many different hats and have many roles. I am a full time working mother of three, wife, daughter, granddaughter, friend, coworker, employee, supervisor, volunteer, wife, sister and much more. With all of these roles it sometimes feels like I am "tossing and catching or manipulating" the details of all of these relationships, so I can fulfill each one. The thing is, there are too many to keep up in the air sometimes. My crazy life is in "constant motion" and I feel like a circus performer.

I used to beat myself up if I "dropped the ball" with something. I felt like a personal failure and was disappointed that I let myself and others down. However, the more I juggle, the more I realize that I am only human. I am not an amazing circus performer that can keep all these things up in the air. Some of them will fall. The question then becomes how does your audience react? 

Circus performers try to wow their audiences. I realized that much of the time I am doing the same thing. I recognized that a lot of the things I was juggling were for other people and not for myself. In order to not juggle so much I need to ask myself which audience do I want to please the most, why am I trying to please them and will they still be a part of the show if my performance is not so flawless? These are tough questions. As I began to answer these questions my load becomes a little lighter and more enjoyable to juggle.  I realize which relationships I want to go the extra mile for and which only want what they can get out of the show. Is my life still crazy? You betcha! I did say I have three children. At the same time it's so much more enjoyable when I decide to spend time with them instead of doing something I "should" do because it's the "right thing."

This can be a little disheartening at first as old relationships may begin to disappear. People do not like the word no and they do not like boundaries. I think it's because we get jealous when people can say no without the guilt while we keep saying yes. Eventually, "no" becomes liberating because it is less to juggle and less pressure to please an audience that really didn't care about you in the first place.

If you are juggling a lot like me, take an inventory of what you are juggling and your audience. What are your motives for all of that juggling? Are you trying to please or impress people that don't have your best interest in mind? Are your trying to keep relationships that you might be better off dropping? As you begin to answer these questions, you may get upset because your performance has changed but hang in there; the less you have to juggle, the better and happier juggler you will be.

Put on Something More Comfortable

I discovered something new yesterday. It is so simple yet so revolutionary. I'm a working mom of three. That means after work I'm headed in a million different directions picking up this one, dropping off that one, starting dinner, helping with homework, etc. Usually, when I get home from work I stay in my work clothes until I get ready for bed after my children are sleeping. For whatever reason, yesterday, I changed my clothes as soon as I got home, and I felt so much better. I had more energy and felt a lot more relaxed. This got me thinking: Could my clothes make that much of a difference in my mood?

I love style, so of course I know that what you choose to wear to work, to an event, or a date is influenced and influences your mood. However, I never realized that changing your clothes midday could change your mood. It was like I took off all the stress of work and put on the comfort of my role as a mother and wife. I actually did an extra load of laundry!  Which is HUGE for me. So, even though it sounds simple and silly, if you are stressed out and have trouble relaxing when you get home from work or an event try changing your clothes to something you would wear on the weekend or to lounge around in. It may alter your mood and help you end your day in a positive way.

Stuck in the Middle

When I was in elementary school I hated the game monkey in the middle; well, at least if I was in the middle. It always seemed two extremely tall athletic people were throwing a ball over my head while I looked like a fool trying my hardest to get the ball. It was nearly impossible for me because I was always shorter than most of my classmates and I was not very athletic. However, I am not one to give up easily, so I continuously looked foolish swiping at a ball going too quickly and too high over my head. It seems I am a part of that same cruel game as an adult, with the same dismal results. Unfortunately, I did not choose to be a part of this game; it seems my participation has occurred naturally.
If your family is anything like mine, you are struggling to make your paycheck cover all of your expenses each month. It is amazing how much the middle class in America are working so hard, while struggling more than ever. My husband works three jobs and I work two. We have three children and are living with his parents because our house is too small for our family but is not worth what we owe. The small companies we work for do not have health benefits, so we have individual health insurance.  In 2012, we laid out over $12,000 in medical expenses not including the $7,000 we laid out for health coverage. My husband just finished his degree with over $30,000 in student loans.  Why am I sharing all of this? Because the sad reality is that the more we work and the more jobs we take on, the less we seem to be helping ourselves.
For example, if I quit my jobs we would qualify for government health care which covers a lot more with much lower out of pocket expenses than we have paid. The ironic thing is that the more jobs we take on the more taxes we pay to help those not working get better health care coverage than those of us working. My husband and I believe that those that really need help should get it. Yet, it seems, many are taking advantage and the help is actually hurting the culture of our country.  This blog will examine some of these ironies and hopefully be a forum to seek a solution and raise awareness of how the middle class is looking foolish as we struggle to catch the ball of security.